After seeing Dr. Sharma a lot of our questions had been answered. But hearing, "your baby has the most severe heart defect he could have" we were still very scared. It's taken me a while to process everything that is going on. I'm still processing it. I'm still emotional sometimes. I pray God takes care of our baby. But I still cry. That's our baby's life I'm afraid for. It would be wrong not to be upset about it.
After more people found out about Coleman's heart we got a huge outpour of love and prayers and support. People would tell us they're praying for us and we're on their church's prayer list. So many people have told us that and I can't even tell you how touching that is to know that so many people, people we don't even know, are praying for us and our baby. It has been heartwarming to know so many people care about us. And I think people telling me they care and are praying is the best thing anyone can do for me or tell me right now. We are blessed with a huge support system and I want to thank anyone who is praying for us! We appreciate for than you know and it means so much to us!
So continuing to appointments...
We really haven't had many appointments since then. But that same week of finding out we did already have a 4D ultrasound scheduled for Saturday. We went, our families and all, and that little stinker had his arm in his face the whole time! Sleeping like his daddy. I say he was just tired of being looked at after his last 3 ultrasounds that week. Little disappointed, but we scheduled a redo for 2 weeks away. I have to be honest and say what I was really feeling that day. We left and Matt was excited because for a very split second we caught a small glimpse of his face and Matt thought he looked just like him. Matt asked what I thought and I started crying. I said I feel like maybe God doesn't want me to see him that maybe he doesn't want me to see him and get more attatched to him if something happens to him. Matt calmed me down and said that's not true. Matt has been the strong one through this being a great rock for me and the best shoulder to cry on. Don't get that wrong, he is just as upset as I am, but he does great at calming me down. I've told him many times it's ok for him to be upset too. And he does get upset. But I'm the more emotional one. He tried his best that day to make it a good day and to try to make me smile as much as he could. And a hug is a great thing.
My next appointment was my regular Ob visit. I saw Dr. Lake. That was the first time I'd seen him before. There are 6 doctors in the group and usually see a different one each time. He seemed genuinely concerned. He said I would see Dr. Allaire again and made that appointment for me. He said at my next appointment, 2 weeks, I would start coming in twice a week for non stress test (monitor the baby's heart rate and contractions), plus my regular appointment with the doctor, plus ultrasounds. I asked about my 1 hour glucose test results because I hadn't heard anything and wanted to be sure no news was good news. He looked at it and said the last Dr. I saw had passed me on it, but it was 1 point on the border and he would rather I just do the 3 hour just to be sure. I was fine with that. Anything for Coleman.
He said I needed to take the 3 hour glucose test that week so I came in the next day for it. Fasting after midnight. I hadn't ate or drunk anything. For the 3 hour glucose test you come in and they draw your fasting blood. Then you drink the super sugary drink and wait an hour for them to draw your blood again. Then wait another hour and draw again and then again for a total of 4 blood draws. It wasn't that bad. I drunk the drink in about a minute and was ok until the last hour. The lady had trouble finding a vein the time before so I'd already been poked a couple extra times. The last hour I went in for the blood draw and was happy I would get to go home after this one. It took a while for her to find a vein this time and she put a needle in both hands and arms before finding a spot. I got really hot and sweaty and she asked if I was ok. I said I'm just really hot. Finally she was finished and I could go. I felt so dizzy and light headed walking to the car and a little disorriented looking at my phone. But I just wanted to get outside where it was cool and eat the food I had brought with me. I sat in my car for about 10minutes and just sat and ate. I went through a drive thru for food and went home. I told my mom I'm pretty sure God drove me home because I just wanted to close my eyes. I was glad that was over!
The next day I missed a call from the Dr. office. I thought "crap I bet they're calling to say I failed my glucose test". I called them back and they said they were calling to tell me I passed! I passed! I said "Oh thank goodness! I thought you were calling with bad news!" She said my last blood draw was low (surprise suprise) and that I needed to try not to ever be empty. This was great news to me and I was excited about it the rest of the day!
We hadn't heard back from the genetics test they did at Dr. Allaire's office yet. Dr. Lake tried to call and get them, but they weren't in office. He said call them until they answer. I left them a message and it was a couple of days until they called me back. The lady said she "called to tell me the genetics test came back normal" Thank God! "and it's a boy" lol we already knew that, but I had such happy tears in my eyes! We didn't think he would have any genetic defect, but it was so great to confirm it. One little less thing not to worry about. I text Matt and told him right away.
The next day, a Satuday, was our redo for 4D ultrasound. I was nervous about whether we would be able to see him or not this time. Our familes came with us again. And my heart smiled as we saw...
Our next appointment was just yesterday with Dr. Allaire. Matt's birthday, and lucky or not for him he was on call the night before and worked all night so he had the day off. We were both pretty tired because I don't really sleep when he's gone. But we went shopping for him all day and had our appointment with Dr. Allaire. It was pretty short appointment and it was only to look at Coleman's growth. They looked him over and said he's growing good! Measured him weighing about 4lbs 6oz. Big boy! Dr. Allaire scheduled us an appointment to see the neonatal doctors at the hospital I will deliver at and we go meet them and see the NICU Friday.
Next appointments coming up are the non stress test starting next week. Along with regular Ob appointment.
The next week we go back to see Dr. Sharma and he will look his heart over again. I have a list of questions to ask him for the next time we see him that I add to pretty often. So that will be a good appointment.
And sometime we will be going to the children's hospital to meet the surgeon and tour there.
Also coming up are my baby showers! One this weekend and my mom having a drop in shower next weekend. I'm pretty excited and excited to see everyone :)
I have felt very overwhelemed, especially after my last Ob visit when he told me all these appointments and things I had to do. I've had to stop and cry a few times feeling overwhelmed. But I'm handling it better now that I've caught up on a few things and Matt is trying to help me not to worry about any of it. I'm thankful for a great husband! He will be a wonderful daddy.
I want to type more about my emotions and things I've been feeling, but I will make a seperate post about it.
Thank you to anyone who is reading this. It makes me feel good to know people are reading and people are praying. And it helps raise awareness for congenital heart defects (CHD)! I'll have to make a post sometime just about CHD.
Thank y'all!
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